Is there ever a time when selfishness can be justified or even required in a relationship? Of course, there is.

When your partner doesn’t spend enough quality time with you.

In order for a relationship to succeed, you and your partner must invest in enough time to bond. Even if you’re in a long-distance relationship or have problems accessing communication tools, you are obligated to spend a portion of your time with your partner.

When you feel strongly about a decision that affects you. 

Doing something that your partner doesn’t agree with can be considered selfish. Sometimes, our instincts can be the best indicators of whether or not we’re making the right decision. If you are ready to bear the responsibility of the consequences, this can be one of those times when being selfish works out for you.

When you don’t have enough resources to give.

Time, energy, and money are some of the resources that couples share. If you don’t have enough to give, it is okay to be selfish. You can’t forsake yourself for your partner if it means you’ll end up losing more than you can afford.

When you’re taking on too much.

Being a couple requires certain responsibilities. Being present is one of them, but there are also other responsibilities, like taking care of your partner. When it proves to be too much, it’s okay to back down and ask for help instead of giving it.

When something you want will benefit you and your partner.

When your partner fails to understand the necessity of something that you want, it’s okay to be selfish and decide this on your own. Just make sure that you are making the right choice and that you can take full responsibility when it costs you.

When shouldn’t you be selfish?

Just as there are instances when you need to be selfish for the sake of your relationship and yourself, there are also instances when you should learn to be more giving, for both your sakes.

When your partner needs you.

If your partner doesn’t know how to ask you for something that they need, step up and offer it yourself. Being generous is the exact definition of selflessness. Giving something that someone needs is the point of caring for and loving someone.

When your partner is in pain.

When you see that your partner is hurting, it’s okay to give them what they need, like your time and attention. Ask for time off from work, prioritize them, and try your best to help them.

When you’re being vindictive.

When your partner inadvertently hurts you, you should hold back on taking any sort of revenge. Hurting someone on purpose is a form of selfishness. It is better to discuss things and vent out your frustration than to seek revenge.

When you’re being petty.

This is the same as being vindictive, but this trait is usually caused by immaturity. People become petty when they resent not getting their way. Being in a relationship means that there’s no room for immaturity like that.

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